Satan purchases a franchise of Mexican karaoke restaurants called Tequila Sally's. Lucy volunteers DJ Jesus to run Karaoke Tuesday. Special Fathers and Special Sister search for Lucy using the Glass Eye of Saint Augustine.

Satan and Becky believe that if the world masturbates 8% more that civilization will collapse. With that in mind they begin to make sex toys. Lucy shows interest in her dad's business and tries to convince him to let her help. DJ Jesus tries to hold his arms at a 90 degree angle for 3 days and wants to auction off a special sex toy in order of his record breaker.

Satan leaves DJ Jesus in the desert while on the way to the Burningman Festival, with thought that the festival could be overtaken by an unholy storm due to DJ Jesus's absence.

Satan gets a teratoma (a tumor with teeth, hair, and can talk) removed from his armpit and keeps it for a friend, naming it Terry. Becky falls for Terry and together they plot to kill DJ Jesus. Meanwhile, DJ Jesus works on production for his movie "Lacy" based on the book he wrote about He and Lucy's relationship.

Satan puts DJ Jesus up for human sacrifice for Senator Whitehead's presidential candadacy announcement, the special fathers and special sister plan to interrupt the ceremony.

Satan hires a sex offender named Tadd as a busboy at Tequila Sally's. Tadd becomes interested with Lucy and Satan becomes obsessed with the sex offender registry.

The Special Fathers and Special Sister get an assignment to stop the vampire altar and choir boys who prey on priests.

DJ Jesus and his entourage rent out an old, all girls Catholic boarding school so he can work on his re-remix in quiet isolation.

A monster comes into San Francisco and Senator Whitehead plans to destroy it. Satan wishes to keep the monster and tries to get the Senator not to kill it.