Michelle tells her boyfriend Dean that she loves him, however, according to him it's too early in the relationship to love each other. After a small argument, Dean decides to give in and learn to say that he loves her. But the only thing he can think of in which he loves is Conan the Barbarian! Meanwhile, Mike has to come to terms with his two fears- the darkness and Natasha Kaplinsky.

Dean buys Michelle a dress which is a size fourteen, however Michelle cannot fit into it. Claire tells her that it's probably because of her high amount of binge eating. After attempting to lose some weight, she tries on the dress, with it barely fitting her. She goes to the party at the local bar (Bar Saladé), and splits her dress. However, it turns out that she has been wearing an age 14 dress.

Mike purchases a new mirror from EBay with a picture of Morrissey on the right hand side. However, he soon sees a picture of a new michrophone which apparently makes "your voice sound like The Count from Sesame Street", but needs £200 to buy it. So he starts selling Michelle's clothes on EBay to pay for it.

Michelle is allowed to work from home, but is persistently distracted by Dean; Mike is depressed at being almost 30 and so considers Botox; while Grant desperately tries to fake a serious ailment as an excuse for staying off work to help Mike.

Dean's lack of respect for Michelle's career as a nutritionist causes problems as she endeavours to show just how vital her job is. Mike offers to fix Michelle's moped after he drives it into the local canal; and Grant makes a play for Michelle.

Michelle tries to dump her boyfriend, and Mike is bitten by a tramp.

Michelle has a spare ticket for a secret gig and stages a Scrabble competition and a penalty shoot-out to decide who'll accompany her, while Mike finds spiritual guidance in a leaflet from The Giving Family.